Dazed and Content

I seem to be in a funk that I can't get out of. I just caught myself gazing out the window. I think its because I am so close to being down with student teaching. I worked really hard to get through that. And now that its over, I can't stop myself from relaxing. And I think I am starting to realize that its okay to relax. Gosh, its even hard saying that. I'm thinking, "yeah, relax. But not too much. You still have a lot of work to do." And its true. I do. I still don't have a job. For the summer or for next school year. The early bird gets the worm. So I have my cover letters printed up. I just need to get them on special paper so I can deliver them Monday and Tuesday. That kind of sucks that those are the only two days I have to deliver these things. And I have a dentist appointment on Monday night. I just need to leave early, 3-ish, on Monday to deliver them. Then I have to try and get that interview at my main school. I do want to work there. Despite the drama. Um, okay. Maybe I'm not too sure. I would like to experience something different. I guess its safe to say that I will work there if they offer.
Back to gazing. I am forcing myself to go to a party or two that I don't want to. I am not doing anything here. I might as well go out and do something around other peeps. It'll be good to get out of this funk.

The Close of Student Teaching

So I have just a few more days of student teaching left. I am ready to go. I am ready to relax. I counted all my time and I've put in 609 hours in 16 weeks. Now granted, that is around 40 hours a week, but many of those hours occurred within a few weeks. I was working a little the weeks before I started teaching and ALOT the weeks I taught. I really hated working under close quarters with someone that was constantly criticizing me. As much as I hate to admit it, I often cracked under pressure. I forgot what I was saying, what was going on, what I was talking about. It was terrible. My brain is fried. It's time to relax. But going back on the freedom concept. I feel that once I have my own classroom, I will be a better teacher. I am confident that once I can do my own rules, I will be a great teacher. I will also have the authority to control my classroom. That was another problem. I never had authority. Some of it was my fault. I was weak, I didn't research or plan enough, I never found my voice. Some of it was my CT's fault. Whether it was dropping things on me last minute, or correcting me in front of the class, or asking me about something which I have no idea. Either way, that is something I won't have to worry about once I am in my own class. These wistful feelings are usual for me. I am always one that is ready to break free from restraints. I left home as soon as I was 18. I initiated my much needed divorce. Now, I can't wait to be a teacher. Today I taught freshmen and I had a lot fun. I'm not sure if it was easy stuff or if it was because I was closer to their level. But I clicked more with the freshmen than I did with AP or Honors. And that's good. Because I will be teaching those kids when I start. I am excited about my future.